hello sunshine

I didn’t hesitate to get out of bed, even though this morning was the first day of my 5am experiment that I really wanted to just got back to sleep. I knew once I started to give myself permission, once I started justifying that it was okay — it would be the end of my early mornings, that tomorrow I would likely do the same, and then again. It is too early in the process to give in. I can give myself some compassion if a morning calls for it but I need to be convinced that it would just be a one time thing. That I could bounce back and just continue getting up early the next day as scheduled. I’m not there yet.

So despite my resistance to waking up, I did it anyway with the intention of going into the office. I got myself ready, got my bags together and headed out the door. I didn’t make it too far when I just decided I wasn’t up for it. I really wanted to work from the comfort of my reading chair today, I still hadn’t woke up completely perhaps. The day was going to be nice and warm — I wanted to enjoy it. But to not waste being up and out and about I decided to go to Sunrise Park in the next town over, it was just about time for the sun to come up.

It was peaceful, so quiet. The morning air was still just a little cool, but pleasant enough. The birds were singing their songs. I didn’t have to wait long the sun started to rise above the horizon, the clouds were just right to set the scene but to not interfere. It was just lovely. The colors were rich blues and golds and I could feel my mood shifting. I started feeling less groggy, more alert and more awake, finally.

On my way back home, I decided to stop at the park by my house. I left the car there and walked the mile and a half home. There were kestrels, and goslings along the way. Plenty of “good mornings” from the people passing by. Maybe I am starting to find those reasons I want to get up.